~Sister to the Pretty Creature in White~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One year ago…

Image

 

 

  1. Dress – Check
  2. Shoes – Check
  3. Racing heart – double Check
  4. Terrified look on face – Check, check, check!

As I stood at the double doors of the sanctuary, trying to keep other people from seeing exactly how freaked out I really was, about a million thoughts and feelings seemed to be swirling around me. Life as we knew it was minutes away from changing, not only for the older sister I look up to and hold dear, but for me as well.

I watched as the Best Man escorted his and the Grooms Grandmother to her seat at the front of the Church.

Image

Thinking about it now, I’ve always known that one day my sister and I would eventually get married and go our separate ways, my mother had been preparing us for marriage for our enter lives, my sister would marry the man of her dreams, and I would most likely marry the first man crazy enough to ask me. I guess I just hadn’t stopped to realize that this wouldn’t be a step we would take together.

I focused my attention back on the Best Man who was, at that moment, taking his place in front of me. I glanced behind me, looking to make sure my brothers were where they were supposed to be, my eyes settle on my soon-to-be brother in-laws friend, poor man looks about as freaked out as I feel, this makes me smile. At least I wasn’t the only one.

ImageEverything gets very still. The music starts to play. A nod from the co-ordinator of the moment. The Best Man steps into the sanctuary. I step up to the “line” and start counting the seconds until I start walking.

1, Deep breath. 2, Remember, small steps, don’t walk at your normal speed. 3, The flower girl! Where is she? Ah, there. 4, *pulls on dress* Stupid thing. 5, Almost there… 6, Deep breath, and left foot first. A nod from the co-ordinator and I start down. Small steps!

ImageLeft foot. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was yelling at me to not play with her stuffed dog? Right foot. Wasn’t it just last week we were playing with our Easy Bake Oven? Left foot. Wasn’t it just last month we were making bow and arrows out of nylon rope and sticks? Right foot. Surely it was! It must have been… Left foot. We couldn’t be grown up enough to be of marrying age! Right foot. And why on Earth did this man think my sister wanted to marry him?? Left foot. She was perfectly happy with me and then this guy comes along and has to mess everything up!

I reach the end. I take my assigned place at the front of the church, smile at my mom, try not to make eye contact with anyone, and turn my attention to the next person walking down after me.

ImageAll of us attendants are now assembled at the front of the Church. I look over at my brother in-law to-be, he has the happiest look on his face I have ever seen. I guess he’s not that bad.

Her song starts playing. { http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-l1NYvBYGE }

This is the third time I have heard this song. The first time was about a month before the wedding, I was in the middle of making dinner when my sister played it for us, I did not cry. The second time was the day before the wedding. I wasn’t going to cry, but then I made the mistake of looking at my cousin and my sister’s soon to-be sister in-law, who were both practically sobbing, and I kinda lost it.

It was like it hit me all at once. This was it. The last night she would be all mine. The last night I would be able to wander up stairs and just sit on her floor and watch her while she did whatever. The last time she would read me a fairytale. The last time she would call me to her room so we could watch Doctor Who or Sherlock together. This was the end.

SONY DSC

Now as I watch my sister, arm and arm with my dad, walk toward the man she loves, with the most beautiful of smiles upon her lips, through the tears blurring my vision, things become a little bit clearer.

This wasn’t “The End,” this was, “At the sound of the chimes turn the page.”

It’s true, nothing would ever be the same again. But she’s still my sister. No, I couldn’t just run upstairs to ask her a question. But I could pick up a phone and call her. And your absolutely right, I am no longer the first in her affections (if I ever was), he is. But that’s okay, we all have to learn how to share at some point :)

SONY DSCI have no idea what my life holds in store for me this coming year, however it feels like it will be a good one!

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s