“No matter what happens I’ll be ok.”

Tonight my mom and dad are going to meet with another couple for dinner and to talk about me and another person. Me and the other person will not be present.

I am externally nervous.
I almost want to throw-up.
I almost did throw-up.

More then anything I wish I could be sitting on my Gramma’s lap as she rocks me back and forth, and as she softly strokes my hair and tells me that everything will work out how it’s supposed to, and there’s no sense in worrying myself silly about it.

But I do worry about it.
I try to trust God like I am supposed to, but it is so hard for me at times, especially when it has to do with something important to me, like this person is.
I know what I want, but is it what God wants?
Are my reasons for wanting this pure and unselfish? Are his?
Am I even ready for this? Is he?

Even though I can’t look forward to see what will happen and brace myself accordingly, I can be absolutely positive about one thing;

God will always be enough for me. He will never fail me. I will never have to worry if I’m worth it to Him because He has already proved that I am.

And no matter what happens, I will be okay.

Long Time Traveller

“These fleeting charms of earth
Farewell, your springs of joy are dry
My soul now seeks another home
A brighter world on high

I’m a long time traveling here below
I’m a long time traveling away from home
I’m a long time traveling here below
To lay this body down

Farewell kind friends whose tender care
Has long engaged my love
Your fond embrace I now exchange
For better friends above

I’m a long time traveling here below
I’m a long time traveling away from home
I’m a long time traveling here below
To lay this body down…”

- The Wailin’ Jenny’s.

In memory of an amazing woman

1935-2014